Boarding School Syndrome: The Anatomy of a Trauma with Joy Shaverien (Nov. 2024)

Professor Joy Shaverien, the Jungian analyst and author of Boarding School Syndrome, led a stimulating and informative day online, talking about the impact of attending boarding school on many of our clients and the challenges of working with this client group. 

Essentially her message is that attending boarding school, particularly when it was from a very young age, needs to be viewed as a series of traumas.  

Prof Shaverien has developed a theory which she refers to as Boarding School Syndrome and talked in some detail about the multiple traumas of Abandonment, Bereavement and Captivity experienced by many children sent away to boarding school, often resulting in Dissociation as a response to the impact of these traumas.  She spoke of a psychological split occurring in response to the actual split between home and school and the associated feelings, with the loss of everything that is familiar to the child and most significantly, the loss of love of parents or sometimes the nanny.  She described this ‘unspeakable wound’ being particularly damaging to young children who are unable to mentalise the experiences alone, without a caring adult to help put words to their feelings.

She spoke movingly about the multiple losses experienced by a boarding school child, including loss of family, siblings and friends, toys, pets and everything that is familiar about home.  The loss doesn’t just happen once, but multiple times ie every time the child returns home and then returns back to school. This, she noted can be even more impactful for children living abroad who are sent ‘home’ to school in the UK, even though it has never been home for them and even the climate, clothing and language are alien.  She also talked about puberty and the development of sexuality and the potential dangers of sexual abuse within schools, both amongst the children and from sexual predators working in schools.

Professor Shaverien also spoke about working with boarding school clients and the challenge of helping them to make meaning of what they have experienced.  She spoke of the difficulty clients may have in tolerating empathy and of the balance of working as both observer and witness to the client’s experience.  She suggested that therapists be aware of the ongoing state of hyper vigilance for danger that adult clients may experience, as well as recognising that these clients may have difficulties with intimacy in their lives and also within the therapeutic relationship which will play out in the transference.  

Living their teenage years in an institution often means there was no space to try out anger or vulnerability as a teenager in the supportive and loving environment of home, and so expressing anger/tears as an adult may be an undeveloped and frightening experience. Additionally, boarding schools do not offer space or time for the important developmental task of reverie or daydreaming and playfulness, thus it can be difficult to form an authentic sense of self, autonomy or desire. Additionally, the lack of maternal holding in boarding schools (no matter how caring the staff might be) is problematic for healthy sexual development in the teenager. 

The day was informative and powerful, and delegates appreciated the space to discuss the material in small break out groups as well in the larger group.  It was really helpful to hear from Joy about this client group and to look at the often unrecognised impact of boarding school as a trauma.

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Average feedback scores from our event:

Organisation of event: 4.2 out of 5

Speaker: 4.1 out of 5

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Feedback from our event:

“I really liked the way Joy brought her patients stories in as examples. I also found the break out rooms particularly helpful, good to see others experiences or knowledge of Boarding School syndrome” – anonymous

“I enjoyed Joy’s openness and authenticity and obvious knowledge of the subject. Extremely thought provoking” – Sophie Graham

“I really enjoyed the in-depth personal / case study perspectives to bring context. Always enjoy the scope and depth of Bramham workshops” – anonymous